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FACE CARE - All you NEED to Know. Of course, we start with what the term Skincare means, If you're a regular you know we define everything here first. So, Skincare is the range of practices that support skin integrity, enhance its appearance, and relieve skin conditions. They can include nutrition, avoidance of excessive sun exposure, and appropriate use of emollients and moisturizers. Skincare is a routine daily procedure in many settings, It helps your skin stay in good condition. You're shedding skin cells throughout the day, so it's important to keep your skin glowing and in good condition. An effective routine can help prevent acne, treat wrinkles, prevent dermatitis, and skin injuries and help keep your skin looking its best. Skin Care is a broad subject with so many aspects inclusive. I personally like to separate it into two concepts. Body Care and Face Care. Makes it easier for me to keep up with skincare as a whole. So in this blog post specifically, because Body Care for me is a part of overall skincare that needs to be divided into different parts and will most probably take a lot of time to put into one blog post, we will dive into the Do's and Don'ts of Face Care primarily. Short Story Time. I am a big-time skincare enthusiast, having been on this journey officially for about four years, making mistakes and surely learning from them, I thought I might as well share everything I've learnt so far. Right after I took off into my teenage years, like many others, I got introduced to the infamous acne phase. But I was at a girl's school, and that's what three-quarters of us looked like, acne, hyperpigmentation, lots and lots of sunburns, and pimple scars, so I couldn't care less, besides there was no one to impress (boys). Fast forward to fresh out of high school, I'm in the "society", as every school leaver would call it. Job Definition: Unpaid Sister Nanny. Job Description: To watch over baby siblings on a daily. Around this time is when I start to pay attention to my skin, trust me I have all the time in the world, when the kids are asleep it's just me, my bumpy forehead, the TV, and my phone. Here is when I started to surf the internet for answers, to be specific, Low Budget answers. As I said, I'm unemployed, and I have no income whatsoever, so my solution at the time was to try out the DIY or home remedies I saw on the internet. Did they work? Yeah, kind of. Many of them were a bust, but some of them weren't all the way bad. The year 2019, I'm in university as a retired Sister Nanny, and I can finally start a skincare routine that is more effective. I start out by being all over the place, confused and clueless as well. I don't really know how to go about this thing after all. And just before I got a grasp of it all, all hell broke loose and I caught a skin infection that caused wounds all over my face, parts of my scalp, and arms. And this took me a hundred and one steps backward with regards to this entire skincare mission of mine. If you follow me on Instagram you might have already seen the pictures on my insta-story and story-highlights, It was bad. The wounds healed eventually but it's the scars that got to me the most. I almost lost hope in the whole thing, it took me months to finally get the courage to get back on the saddle and try it out again, but eventually, I did. I'd be lying if I said it didn't take me a lot more time to figure it all out because it did, three years to be exact. And I think I've gotten the hang of things now and at least I know a lot better and that's what I'm sharing in this blog post. Skin Types. The largest reason for my delay in discovering my niche in skincare was my ignorance of skin types. I knew most products have skin type specifications written on them but I still used anything. And when i watched videos on skincare not many emphasized the importance of knowing your skin type, most of them were too busy promoting their products or their sponsor's products to highlight that knowing what your skin type is and really understanding what it is is a foundational principle for your overall skincare journey. I did my research and figured it out, my T-zone was always oily, and my cheeks, side, and the tempos of my face were always dry, which meant I have combination skin. You won't believe how much of a difference discovering this simple fact made. Knowing my skin type catapulted me straight into faster results. So while we're at it we might as well learn what these five skin types are: OILY SKIN. Just as the name suggests, a person with this skin type tends to have an excess amount of oil production on their face. They tend to always have a greasy and shiny appearance to them. If they don't treat their oily skin, pores can become clogged and enlarged, and dead skin cells may accumulate. Blackheads, pimples, and other types of acne are also common with this skin type. DRY SKIN. Dry skin can feel tight and rough and look dull. 'Dry' is used to describe a skin type that produces less sebum than normal skin. As a result of the lack of sebum, dry skin lacks the lipids that it needs to retain moisture and build a protective shield against external influences. NORMAL SKIN. 'Normal' is a term widely used to refer to well-balanced skin. The scientific term for well-balanced skin is eudermic. The T-zone (forehead, chin, and nose) may be a bit oily, but overall sebum and moisture are balanced and the skin is neither too oily nor too dry. COMBINATION SKIN. Your skin can be dry or normal in some areas and oily in others, such as the T-zone (nose, forehead, and chin). Many people have this type. It may need slightly different care in different areas. This skin type is characterized by non-uniform oil production: more active oil glands in the T-zone and less active oil glands elsewhere SENSITIVE SKIN. Sensitive skin is skin prone to inflammation. People with sensitive skin may have acne, rosacea, or contact dermatitis, a type of red, itchy rash. Sensitive skin may also be especially prone to stinging or burning. People with sensitive skin may have overreactions to certain ingredients and, for that reason, they should avoid overly harsh compounds in all their beauty products even beyond skincare. It is very important to analyse your skin and figure out what your skin type is. Because doing so helps with the next phase of your skincare journey, your skincare routines. Now skincare routines vary with every individual. Some routines are more complex than others. I'm going to share the basic routines that got me to where I am now. They are a simple step-by-step process and if you like simple it will work perfectly for you too. DAILY ROUTINE. Cleansing. Basics are, you have to wash your face, and before I knew of skincare routines and all, I thought you washed your face just to get the sleep out. But that's not the case. Cleansers come in two forms, water-based and oil-based cleansers. An oil-based cleanser is used to remove oil-based impurities, including sebum, sunscreen, and makeup. A water-based cleanser can be either foaming or non-foaming and is used to remove water-based impurities, including sweat and dirt. This is the first step in your basic skincare routine be it your morning or evening regimen. Toning. Toners are designed to replenish skin through hydration and remove dead cells and dirt left behind after cleansing. And also serves to even out your skin tone. You either tap directly onto the skin or onto a cotton pad and swipe over the face in an outward motion right after cleansing. Antioxidants or Acid serums and Essences. Serums deliver powerful ingredients directly to the skin. Essence is simply a watered-down version. Vitamin E is great for dry skin, while antioxidants like green tea extract can be used on dull complexions. If you’re prone to breakouts, try retinol or vitamin C. Serums contain a high concentration of certain ingredients. An antioxidant-based serum will protect skin against damage caused by unstable molecules known as free radicals. Vitamins C and E are common antioxidants used to improve texture and firmness. There are many different antioxidant serums that are suitable for different skin types and different dermatological needs. Research or guidance from your dermatologist is advised to avoid negative skin reactions, some serums should not be mixed or used together. Eye Creams. The skin around your eyes tends to be thinner and more sensitive. It’s also prone to signs of aging, including fine lines, puffiness, and darkness. A good eye cream can brighten, smooth, and firm up the area. If your moisturizer and serum are suitable for the eye area, contain an effective formula, and are fragrance-free, it's okay to skip this step. Face Oils. The lighter the product, the earlier you should apply it. Easily absorbable oils are lightweight and should therefore come before moisturizers. They’re especially useful if your skin’s showing signs of dryness, flakiness, or dehydration. More often than not, you’ll have to try different oils to see which works best for your skin. Moisturiser. A moisturizer will soothe and soften skin. If you have a dry skin type, opt for a cream or balm. Thicker creams work best on normal or combination skin, and fluids and gels are recommended for oilier types. Effective ingredients include glycerine, ceramides, antioxidants, and peptides. Sunscreen. Sunscreen is a critical final step in your morning skincare routine because chances are you are going to be outside in the sun during the day. Not only can it lower your risk of skin cancer, but it can also reduce signs of aging by blocking damaging UV light. The American Cancer Society Trusted Source recommends choosing a broad-spectrum sunblock rated SPF 30 or higher that protects against UVA and UVB light. WEEKLY ROUTINE. Alongside you're daily routine there are a few more activities you should add to your skincare regimen. These are activities that don't need to be done on a daily but at least two-three times a week. Exfoliation. Exfoliation removes dead skin cells while clearing pores. And I can't stress this point enough, your skin cells are always dying and dead skin cells need to be removed in order to make way for newer and healthier skin cells. Unless you have extremely sensitive skin that tends to react or get irritated quickly you should not be exfoliating regularly or at all, hence guidance from your dermatologist is strictly advised. But if your skin isn't as sensitive you need to exfoliate,, But because you do not want to avoid skin irritation, exfoliation whether physical or chemical should be done two-three times a week. Clay, Sheet, and Peel-off Face Masks. Clay and peel-off masks work to unclog pores, but can also absorb excess oil. These masks are best applied at night to remove leftover dirt and help the skin soak up other products. Many Sheet masks are for hydrating purposes with the ability to pack a real moisture punch, they’re wonderful for dry skin. Steaming. Less sensitive skin types can usually steam two to three times a week. Usually, oily skin is thicker and can tolerate more frequent steaming. If your skin is drier or thinner, once a week is enough. Steaming can be done professionally or just by you at home. Below is a list of benefits that steaming has: Steam opens up pores and helps loosen any buildup of dirt for a deeper cleanse. Opening up your pores also softens blackheads which makes them easier to remove. It promotes circulation. The combination of the warm steam and an increase in perspiration dilates blood vessels and increases circulation. This boost of blood flow nourishes the skin and delivers oxygen, resulting in a natural, healthy glow. It releases acne-causing bacteria and cells. Opening up pores allows a release of dead skin cells, bacteria, and other impurities that clog pores and contribute to acne. It releases trapped sebum. This naturally occurring oil is produced by the skin sebaceous glands to lubricate skin and hair. When sebum gets trapped beneath the skin's surface, it creates a breeding ground for bacteria which causes acne and blackheads. It's hydrating. Steam hydrates the skin by increasing oil production which naturally moisturizes the face. It helps your skin better absorb skin care products. Steam increases the skin's permeability, enabling it to better absorb topical creams or serums. This means you get more benefits from skincare products when applied after steam. It's soothing. The feeling of warm steam on your face is relaxing, in addition to using soothing scents such as herbs or essential oils for aromatherapy for added relaxation. It helps with sinus congestion. Steam can help relieve sinus congestion and headaches caused by congestion. Adding certain essential oils to the steam can boost the effect. It's affordable and accessible. Facial steaming can be done at home using household items. NOTE! Make sure to always use products that are SPECIFICALLY MADE FOR YOUR SKIN TYPE or FOR ALL SKIN TYPES if you are finding it hard to find products made for your skin type or you still don't know your skin type. This will save you a LOT of time and money. Going through your skincare routine at most twice a day will guarantee faster results, in the morning and before bed. And if you do choose to do your skincare twice a day you could reduce the steps in the morning to only cleansing, moisturising, and sunscreen, then go all out in the evening before bed, unless the instructions advise otherwise. This brings me to the next point. ALWAYS read the instructions and ingredients carefully, you could save yourself from making serious mistakes if you do so. And avoid products that include sulfates and parabens in their ingredients, opt for natural ingredients instead. If you are not sure about many things concerning your skin or your skin issues are a lot more complicated, PLEASE SEE A DERMATOLOGIST and get advice. Do Not mix serums anyhow, do some vivid research first, some serums will cause irritation, especially if you have sensitive skin. You do not need to have everything in the routine order, if you asked me, a cleanser, a moisturiser, an exfoliating serum or scrub, and sunscreen should be enough. You don't have to break your bank account for everything. BE PATIENT AND PERSISTENT. EXTRA TIPS. Break the habit of touching your face frequently, you'll see a big difference. Always wash your hands thoroughly before cleansing every time. Sleep on clean pillowcases or beddings. Satin or silk Pillowcases are the best. Cleanse your face for 60 seconds (the 60-second rule). It's effective. Drink LOTS of water. Exercise helps your skin a whole lot too. It doesn't have to be cardio. If you can, eat a lot more vegetables and fruit. Use essential oils when steaming. DO NOT POP YOUR PIMPLES! Words from the Author. The brand of the products matters the least, if it's a good cleanser it will cleanse, if it is a good toner, serum, mask, exfoliant, or moisturizer it will do its job just fine. More expensive brands will have a few more benefits over more affordable ones only because the chemistry in their formulations, but overall results, even with different speeds, will be the same eventually. Remember skincare can add a lot of confidence to a person but honestly, it doesn't add more value. It sure is a very good investment no doubt, but it isn't the answer to everything, It's like investing in good and quality clothing, it makes you more presentable and comfortable with yourself but it doesn't make you complete. I must add that to get to your ultimate skincare goal you must be patient. There is no shortcut to permanent results, If a brand promises you results in less than a month, it most definitely isn't true. To get visible results it could take at least six months, though within two weeks of you're skincare regimen, you will begin to feel a difference, and though it may not be visible as mentioned earlier, that's cause enough for you to keep going. You could be tempted to give up, but you shouldn't, it took me three years to get my goal and that's with many mistakes along the way. But the truth is you will get there eventually. Be patient and persistent. Thank you for reading and my sincere apologies for the extremely late blog publication and the random absence. Inconveniences were met, and I'm aware of the impression that this delay gives. The last thing I want is for the website to be seen as inadequate or inefficient. Thank you so much for your patience. Verse of the week. 3rd John 1:2 (ESV): Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. See you all next week. Blessings.

The High-Value Woman. What or who is she? I've heard this phrase a hundred and one times over the past couple of months and of course, I'm intrigued, well mostly only because of the way it is defined on all the various platforms giving out knowledge, information, or personal opinions on the very topic: The high-value woman. It seems to encompass a lot of aspects, aspects pertaining to being the perfect woman, a woman that has it all together. And I have had my time to think of what this popular term, really means and that's what I'm going to share. So straight into it, who is she? Many definitions circulate around the idea that a high-value woman is one that understands her worth, knows herself, and accepts herself inside and out. She is highly desirable to men, but that's beside the point. She is confident and appealing to many, her character speaks for her, she is independent and is also known as a woman of excellence. Pause for a bit, I'll be honest you could get lost in the ideology behind the lot, it's very frankly a messy scene because again, these are thousands upon thousands of personal opinions on how to become a combination of the above-mentioned traits. So I'm going to attempt to add myself to the ridiculously large group of people that have an outlook on the same. THE TRAITS OF A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN. So let's look at what it is to be a high-value woman, what does she look like, and what distinguishing qualities and characteristics does she portray? First of all, generally, I'd say she is Intentional in every way, she is a woman that chooses to make decisions and take action. Being intentional means she gets clearly upfront over what she believes and wants to achieve. She intentionally sets objectives and strives to achieve those specific outcomes or results. But let's break it all down. SHE IS INTENTIONAL ABOUT GOD. 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” 37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ — Matthew 22:36-39 I've seen so many "how to be a high-value woman" articles and they all seem to leave out this very vital aspect of actually being a high-value woman. I'm convinced that to be anything of value in a lifetime, you must first, above anything and everything, start by intentionally looking to know God. Here's the thing, every person out there is striving to be their best self, and this is something you've heard all too well, "I'm working on being my best self.". But how does one become said "best self" without any knowledge or significant understanding of the creator of self? The first of the greatest commandments is that "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind,". Why is it the greatest? Because loving the Lord thy God with everything you have, everything that's of value to you, your heart, your mind, and your soul points to the eternal verity that is entire submission to the one that understands the core of your being much more than you or anyone ever will. The one that knew what would be going on in your mind, in your heart, and your soul long before you were even born. Being intentional about Loving God, fearing God, seeking God, and growing to learn and know him gives you grade A access to your prime self. Truthfully, anything else that appears on this list will be a struggle to achieve if this key factor isn't fostered. The key to being a High-value woman is to submit to the one that makes you valuable, God. SHE IS INTENTIONAL ABOUT SELF. The second greatest command is to love others as much as you love yourself. But how do you intend to love others if you do not love yourself, or are intentional about yourself? Self Love — Self-love is an unending song that gets sang and played everywhere, it's on your for you page, your Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter feed, especially now when the millennials and generation z are the most influential, the self-love theory is at its peak. I believe the high-value woman understands that loving herself is important and she should take each day striving to accept and love the intrinsic part of being that distinguishes her from everyone else. Loving herself makes it easy for her to see herself as the person she was created to be, that's a person that's different from everyone else, that she was meant to be unique, and that it's okay to not look like everyone else and that there is a sense of purity only attainable by her because there has never been anyone like her and there will never be anyone like her ever. She learns this and then uses it to take on the world knowing that she was created from love, by love, with love. The High-value woman takes all negative opinions about her as just that, opinions, and not facts because as much as people try they will never be able to define her because they are not literally or divinely able to do so. Only God can. She knows she's worth love and she won't wait to get it from the next person before she gets it from herself. Self-aware — The high-value woman is self-aware, this means she knows what's happening within herself. She knows what she feels, she knows what motivates her she knows what she likes and what she should do to get what she wants and she has methods of doing so. She knows what's good for her, what's worth her energy, and what isn't, she takes steps to analyse where she is in life and is truthful about it too, she knows that when she's not doing so well she can do better and she will do better. She may not understand a lot about herself, but she does know enough to keep growing. She's self-aware. Self-respect — A high-value woman respects herself, through mannerism, kindness, and prioritization. She respects herself through the way she behaves around others and herself, she watches what she says and how she says it knowing very well that aimlessly speaking and acting out has implications. She understands that she is a temple, yes most definitely, her body is a temple and must be treated as such. She has manners, a person that knows how to respect themselves knows how to respect others, and therefore attracts respect back to themselves. She is kind to herself, she won't give herself a hard time for failing but instead, she uses it as a means to learn and a reason to get better and stronger. She prioritizes herself, she puts her needs on the table too, which doesn't mean she brushes other people's needs under hers, it means that she also sees her needs as important. She respects herself enough to show up for herself. Self-esteem — Now this is one of my favourite parts of being intentional about self, majority of my life has revolved around me believing I'm not good enough for many things. And as a woman, there are times when people's opinions about your overall appearance and choices in life, get to you. Unfortunately, some people live to constantly break others down because they enjoy it or it makes them feel better about themselves, so they make it a mandate to point out your flaws. And some people are just very careless with where they put their words and they don't give a second thought to the possibility that they are hurting and breaking people as they move along, adult bullies, is what I call them. There is no way of stopping people from being what they are, even if all they do is make you feel bad about things you can and can't change all together, the one thing you can do is accept who you are and be proud of it. You are made in the image of the most beautiful being to have ever existed, and he thinks you're to die for. A woman of high value does not care if anyone thinks she's too tall or too short, too slim or too fat, too busty or not busty enough, too dark or light, if they think she's not accomplished enough or not successful enough or not educated enough, pretty enough, or even cool enough. She knows their input is of no value whatsoever if it doesn't build her. A high-value woman believes in herself and knows she's a perfectly imperfect and divine masterpiece. She walks with dignity and pride, the right kind, and won't allow anyone to make her feel less of herself, because, despite where she is in life, she can get better. And that everything she has planned for herself is worth attention and fighting for. Nothing she does is too much or too little, it's just the right amount. She is not below average, on the contrary, she is prime. "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." — Psalm 139:14 SHE IS INTENTIONAL ABOUT OTHERS. A woman of high value knows how to love and treat others with respect. She knows she is worthy of love, she knows others are too, she knows everyone deserves the same amount of respect she deserves. She knows how to care for others and she is mindful of what she says to others, and how she says what she says. She is polite, the words, excuse me, please, thank you, and I'm sorry are not foreign to her. She lifts others and does not tear them down. She affirms them and does not deny them. She is a pillar of strength and not a tool of sabotage. And she treats everyone like she would want to be treated. She is caring and nurturing, which she proudly displays. Her beauty radiates from within. She is honest with others, she knows the value of being truthful to herself and people alike. She earns the title High-Value Woman. SHE IS INTENTIONAL ABOUT PERSONAL GROWTH. She takes intentional steps to grow into a woman of High-Value. Steps like: Knowledge — She wants to learn. She knows the value of acquiring knowledge. She's always aspiring to know more, to discover more, to build on what she's already acquainted with. She makes it a goal to be well informed, not with just anything but with issues of value. She finds satisfaction in learning new skills, skills she can use to better her life and the lives of others. She is teachable, she doesn't overlook the chance to learn from others, and it's never a matter of age, she is humble enough to take advice or learn from people younger than she is. Persistence — Oh she is resilient, a goal-getter. She falls and rises stronger, she sees every drawback as an opportunity to re-evaluate the circumstances, figure out what she missed or miscalculated, and then makes a massive come back. She pushes till all she sees is diamond. She doesn't stop for anything, she sees what she wants and she goes for it. Hard work — She knows that to get to where she needs to be, she has to work for it. She has to do a lot of hard things, like move outside her comfort zone and try new things, put in extra hours and effort, change perspective from time to time, and compromise when she needs to. She is up for the challenge. Accountability — She owns up to her mistakes and doesn't find ways of blaming her shortfalls on others, instead she acknowledges when she is wrong and when she fails. Takes these inadequacies as guidelines for improvement. Lol, ladies, a high-value woman apologizes when she is wrong. Focus — A woman of high value is laser-focused on her goals. Nothing will derail her, when she has her eye on the goal she shoots until she scores. This doesn't mean she won't get slowed down, or distracted now and then, she will, but she is disciplined enough to get back on the saddle and keep riding. She sees her official, academic, physical, spiritual, and financial ambitions through to the end. Creativity — She's familiar with authenticity, she has a mind of her own, a mind filled with new ideas and innovation, kosher is her culture. She is not afraid to try new things, experiment, bring out ideas, to explore her capabilities to give birth to excellence. She is the definition of original. Independence — She is not helpless, she can provide for herself and the people around her, she is self-sufficient, this goes way beyond financial capability. She makes strategic moves that make it possible for her to provide for her needs, she doesn't sit around waiting for anyone to blow her wounds dry, no, she gets up and binds them herself. Don't be mistaken she's humble enough to seek and accept help, her independence is no excuse for her to be self-absorbed, big-headed, or prideful. She just understands that she has the power to be there for herself especially when there is no one close by. Presentation — She knows the value of presentation. Her physical appearance — the way she dresses, takes care of her body; hair, skin, and nails, you can tell she's a high-value woman by just observing her overall health and hygiene. Her environment— her work and personal space are alluring and they for sure are inviting. Her projects, duties, and chores— all the things she works on are exceptional, top-tier, and way above par. She knows that the greater portion of people's perception of her lies in the way that she presents herself to them. To be taken seriously and to be respected, she displays herself and everything concerning her in a manner that preserves and increases her dignity. She has high standards, so she in turn presents high standards to attract high standards. "Average women make decisions based on who they are now. The High-value woman makes decisions based on who she wants to be." — Anonymous. Words from the Author. A high-value woman is many things, but above and beyond, she is a woman who knows her value and lives her life in pursuit of the things that enhance it. She is a woman that's intentional about growing spiritually, academically, physically, mentally, socially, financially, formally, etc. She is a woman worth the title High-Value. Like Saint Paul would put it, What shall we say then, should every female work towards being this high-value woman? You know what, I'll leave this one up to you? What do you think, should she? Let me know what you think in the comments or the chat section. I'll be sure to reply as soon as I can. Thank you for reading and my sincere apologies for the extremely late blog publication. Inconveniences were met, and I'm aware of the impression that this delay gives. The last thing I want is for the website to be seen as inadequate or inefficient. Thank you so much for your patience. Verse of the week. Psalms 46:5 (NIV): God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day. See you all next week. Blessings.

I've been a helpless romantic, majority of my life. Do I blame Disney? Hell yeah, as a kid I'd always imagined myself running into my "Prince Charming" one day you know, experiencing a whole new world, with some Aladdin doppelgänger or something. Cringe? Yeah, well I have to live with myself. But as time would have it, I grew up. And the reality of love and Life settled in, really hard too. I was introduced to the modern man, and no they don't talk like Romeo by the way. The men in these Fairy tales were the prime of men, they were what gentlemen looked like or were supposed to look like. They spoke to the women they pursued with a grace only imaginable, it was almost as if they were born to solely protect and guard the women they fancied with their last breath. And yes of course I prayed for this myself, what's a young seven-year-old girl with a wild chimera to do or pray for after binge-watching Disney's classics for hours upon hours? The answer? grow up, that's what she ought to do, she ought to grow up. And she did. Who is a Gentleman? “Courtesy is as much a mark of a gentleman as courage." —Theodore Roosevelt. The word gentleman has quite a number of definitions, a selected few are — A man with good manners, A man who combines gentle birth or rank with chivalrous qualities, A man that is polite, educated, and can be trusted. Let's get into a tiny section of the history of the Gentleman. In the middle ages, the word "gentleman" was used to describe a man that came from a good and wealthy family, and when the social distinction was between the nobiles ( the tenants in chivalry, whether earls, barons, knights, esquires, or freemen) and the ignobiles (serfs, citizens, and burgesses) the word gentleman was equivalent to the nobiles. By the 16th and 17th centuries, it was somewhat redefined to those that could afford to, as William Harrison put it, "live without manual labour". Then fast forward to the 1900's the definition was redefined by its use as a synonym to —men. It was used to distinguish males from females at public places or occasions. Acceptance by society as a gentleman still required an income derived from sources other than manual labour. I'm figuring the definition then eventually with time got watered down to what we know the gentleman to be now. So I listed down a few characteristics of the ideal gentleman: A Gentleman has High Standards — A gentleman sets high standards and expects the same from others. Placing high standards for oneself makes success inevitable. So gentlemen tend to always get the very best out of everything that they put their effort in, be it value, quality, or functionality. A Gentleman is Well Dressed — Don't even get me started (insert "SMH" emoji). I've always been under the impression a gentleman knows the value that proper self-presentation carries. Dressing well isn’t a matter of money for a gentleman, but rather of careful curation of clothing and accessories based on his means, the occasion, and his tastes. His dress demonstrates that he recognizes the power of clothes the impression they make, and the role they play in society. Clothes are used to convey a gentleman’s respect for his host, his office, or for the host of an event, but not to shock, evoke jealousy, or show off. Dressing well is a point of pride for a gentleman because it demonstrates his personality and taste. A Gentleman is Well Mannered — I think there is no exception, a manner less man is everything but a gentleman, no room for compromise whatsoever. He is polite, he is kind, he says please and thank you. Shows an untainted form of etiquette everywhere he goes and in every situation he finds himself. A Gentleman is Informed and Interesting — Forgive me if I come out as condescending or just plain arrogant, but I've had my fair and I repeat, my fair share of utterly useless conversations with men that try too hard to present themselves as knowledgeable and well informed on various topics, while the evidence that they are not, oozes out from their very words, and honestly it's embarrassing. A Gentleman takes the time to genuinely learn and build on what he already knows, is interested in, and needs to know. This helps him carry out very decent conversations on several subjects, subjects of value too. (My opinion, Men you don't have to know everything, and you sure don't have to act like you do. That kind of honesty is very attractive. But at the same time don't know nothing lol) A Gentleman is Respectful — Respectful to everyone, a gentleman shows respect to everyone. The way that they talk to people, young and old. They put others before themselves, they understand that everyone is made equal, and those less fortunate are still deserving of all the courtesy, patience, and grace as those that are more fortunate. A Gentleman's Actions match his words — Plain and simple, a gentleman lives by what he preaches. He makes promises he intends to keep. A Gentleman is Imperfect — A gentleman is not perfect, and he knows this. And the acceptance of this keeps him rising back up whenever he falls short. A gentleman puts all this into account and uses it to influence his approach towards life. And this is one of the very vital aspects of who a gentleman is. That he is far from perfect. What is Chivalry? "To risk life to save a smile on a face of a woman or a child Is the secret of chivalry." — Dejan Stojanovic. Chivalry as we know it now is an act of courtesy, especially that of a man towards a woman. I always defined it as the way one showed respect. His politeness and his willingness to showcase his good manners. The mere act of him going out of his way to open a lady's door, or just hold it open, to pull out her seat, and even to lend her his jacket when she's chilly. If we want to dive into a little history we uncover that Chivalry was a term associated with the nobles of the middle ages. Nobles or Nobility was the highest social class in pre-modern societies. In the feudal system (in Europe and elsewhere), the nobility were mostly those who got land from the monarch and had to provide services to him, mainly military service. Men of this class were called noblemen. Very long story cut short, when the term chivalry was used it was used in conjunction with noblemen. In short, it was a system of values (like honour and loyalty) that Knights in the middle ages were supposed to follow. And this code of conduct distinguished the noble from the social inferiors. Well of course over time the term has changed seeing as the old medieval reason for defining chivalry is long gone. The question now is, did it all successfully die out completely, and by completely I mean, did the washed down and more evolved (at least compared to the middle ages) version of the term die too? Why should men be Chivalrous? Before we answer the question, is chivalry dead, should men strive to be Chivalrous at all? It is the modern age after all, what's the need? Well, here is my answer. Yes of course. Chivalry places a higher standard and a more significant value on a man. In my opinion, It takes nothing away from a man, If anything I think it gives more. I think it is a man's way of showcasing his natural masculine traits, traits such as protection, provision, leadership, strength, and respect. This is not to undermine a woman's strength or to say a woman can not protect herself or even provide for herself, of course, she can, its equivalent to the feminine urge to nurture, it's a trait women naturally carry. If a woman chooses to cook, clean after, and take care of a man, it says nothing about his ability to do it himself. It's just her way of naturally flourishing in her feminine and if he chooses to walk on the outside of the sidewalk, hold her hand when crossing the road, take off his hat when he greets her, pay for her bill, make sure she gets home safely, offer her his coat or even assists her with hers, it's his way of flourishing in his masculine. And there is nothing inherently wrong with that. Chivalry and the Bible. Chivalry was associated with the medieval Christian institution of knighthood; knights' and gentlemen's behaviours were governed by chivalrous social codes. It brings me a lot of comfort to know that the concept of chivalry originated from a Christian point of view, even if it was a tainted view for the most part. Here is what I learned about Chivalry in Christianity. (Research was done from gotquestions.org, visit the link for more.) Ephesians 5:21 tells the church to “submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” So, biblical chivalry starts with a humble spirit and a willingness to put the needs of others before one’s own needs (Romans 12:3; Philippians 2:3). And, while God created men and women equal in value, spirit, and intelligence, He also placed within the male heart a desire to guard and protect the women in his care. God created men and women differently in function and perspective so that we would complement, not compete with one another. Part of a man’s innate bent toward protecting and valuing the beauty of a woman is reflected through chivalrous acts. By deferring to the women in his company—holding doors, helping with coats, rising when she enters—a man is fulfilling that God-instilled part of him that needs to honour female beauty. First Peter 3:7 alludes to the innate difference between men and woman, instructing husbands to treat their wives with consideration as a “weaker vessel” and a joint-heir to the things of Christ. We might say that husbands are to practice chivalry toward their wives. The term weaker vessel does not mean “inferior person,” as Peter immediately follows the term with the concept of spiritual equality. In this instance, “weaker” is better understood as “delicate without being frail,” much as an antique, a highly valued Chinese vase is delicate but not frail. When changing the oil in a car, you would not use such a vase to catch the used oil because the vase is of high quality. You might pour the used motor oil into an old tin can, which is stronger but not of high quality. True biblical chivalry builds upon the concept found in 1 Peter 3:7 and expresses itself in several ways by showing honour and deference to women. Chivalry is a way of demonstrating respect for God’s design, not the character of the woman in question. Indeed, many women do not conduct themselves in ways that invite chivalry, but that does not completely rule out the need for men to be chivalrous. God’s instruction to women is that they strive for a “gentle and quiet spirit” (1 Peter 3:4). A woman who conducts herself with such kindness and class finds that men often respond to her with acts of chivalry. So is it dead? No, it's not dead. At least not entirely, not yet. Chivalry has changed its form over time, but when it has, it's changed to fit the generation's stance about society. And unfortunately, we exist in a generation that has with it a lot of ideologies, ideologies that many times contradict the concept of chivalry. Like with feminism, the belief that acts of chivalry are more so powerplays by men and are used to belittle and strip away the ability of females to do and become on their own, is threatening to the entire notion. How unfortunate that chivalry can often be mistaken for misogyny. Plus the rise of gender transitions and assignments has made it a lot more complicated. The modern-day controversy on gender roles has disrupted the course of chivalry as well, making the number of people that can, of free will, continue to participate in the code of conduct, reduce by the day. Chivalry is beautiful and can be rare these days, which reminds me of a similar incident at a shopping mall a few weeks past. My roommate and I were leaving the mall, she was in front of me and a random man in front of her. He pushed open the large glass door to leave, and my roommate in an attempt to follow suit reached for the door but was met with a very unlikely happening. I was distracted at the time so I didn't catch wind of what exactly happened but when I heard my roommate utter out a series of continuous "thank yous" I was intrigued. She then turned to me and said in disbelief, "Natasha, that man actually held the door open for me!", and I honestly couldn't believe it myself. We literally walked to our lift home only reminiscing over the rare occurrence. So yes, it's that rare, people don't often do that anymore, and frankly, it's very sad. Words from the Author. I haven't run into many men that possess the qualities of a chivalrous gent, but I've run into enough to know that not all hope is lost. I also believe that acts of chivalry should be given just as much as they are received, and even though this entire piece of writing puts an emphasis on men being the ones to present such conduct, I believe in this day and age, women too can show a sense of chivalry as well. We too can exhibit loyalty, respect, and courtesy. We can all be the Nobles and Dames of the middle age in the contemporary age. Don't argue, It's biblical. So let's not lose hope, Chivalry and Gentlemanship are alive in those that still consider it of value to not only themselves but to others as well. "I heard that chivalry was dead, but I think it's just got a bad flue." — Meg Ryan. Verse of the week. Philippians 2:3 (ESV): Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Have an Amazing week chivalrous Ladies and Gentlemen. Blessings.

Esse Epistles, sound strange? I can help. The word Esse refers to existence or essence, it comes directly from the Latin esse meaning 'to be'. It means something has an original form or is not fictional. It could also be the very nature of something or its defining quality. An Epistle, a word not too foreign to your ears, is simply a letter. You could say Esse Epistles is a term to describe letters of Essence or Existence. Before we go any further, I would like to take this opportunity to officially welcome you all to my first blog post. I hope you're just as excited as I am, and I truly cannot wait to see just how far we go and grow. The journey is worth every step. What is Esse Epistles about? “They both listened silently to the water, which to them was not just water, but the voice of life, the voice of Being, the voice of perpetual Becoming.” — Hermann Hesse Esse Epistles is a blog inspired by my ongoing and ever blossoming keen sense of acknowledging the gift to be and exist. The gift that is Life. Here's a general overview, this blog is about anything to everything. I know, it doesn't make me sound goal-oriented in the slightest. But before you go on and drag me, let me explain. Life in itself is vast and diverse. This blog simply picks out a number of general aspects of life that I've taken a particular interest in, like Faith, Self Care, Fashion, Relationships, etc, and analyzes the varying concepts found within each aspect. So 'everything' in this light, could be substituted with "all things to do with". And while I have the chance, let me use this moment to highlight that this blog will run entirely based on the values and principles that I hold as truth, as well as those of other like-minded people. I'm hoping I share the same values as many of you too. I'm personally convinced that you're in for quite a treat being a part of this. There is no telling what exactly this forum will exhaust information-wise. And this in itself provides just the right amount of anticipation needed. Next question, please? Why Esse Epistles? Esse Epistles, as the name suggests, is my space to display my letters, my notes, my epistles. This includes several write-ups on what the state and art of being, existing, growing, exploring, discovering, unlearning, relearning, excepting, mastering, and then finessing looks like through my lens. I've always had something to say about many things about my life and the lives of others. And I never thought I needed, let alone wanted to publish these things and make it so everyone can see or hear them. More so because of the fear to fail, but I wouldn't be practicing the core principle of my blog if I didn't try, the principle of being. I tell you, It's an honor, to speak and liberate the mind of ideas regarding the precious gift to simply Be. When you have the voice, it should be heard, we owe it to ourselves. "Humanity's existence, our esse, is a gift from God." - Anonymous What are we in for? FAITH I'm faith-oriented, my belief in God and spirituality remains unwavering. If you know me personally, it should not come by surprise to you that this blog website even has a Faith section and will most definitely run on the foundational principles and values of my faith (Christianity). My faith has had the largest influence on my life and the lives of many others, and if that's not reason enough to have the section included, stick around, I'll convince you. See, being a Christian is not as easy as many make it seem. And being open and genuine about the walk of faith isn't a niche many people seem to have found. I don't think I have either. But let's talk about it. FASHION I like to believe my sense of fashion is intact and well over bare-able. As much as my taste is unidirectional and there are a lot of styles I wouldn't strut, I've always had a keen interest in the beauty that comes with diversity and change. And there is nothing that bears these two titles heavier than Fashion does. From the Minimalist's outlook on style to the Maximalist's bird's eye view on the same, let's venture across these different worlds to witness and comprehend how their sole reason for contrast, is their main secret to independently astound. Godspeed to you too. LIFESTYLE This right here is another segment to look forward to. Lifestyle, in layman's terms, is defined as "the way in which a person lives", and we are well aware of the diversity that comes with belonging to humanity. This gives me even more reason to explore this aspect with a lot more enthusiasm. There is no end to just how much we can unearth and discover concerning the way each one of us chooses to live our lives, let alone how much we can build onto our daily customs, by learning about the many and more effective ways to live. So, are you coming along? “ Get busy living or get busy dying.” — Stephen King. SELFCARE Growing up as an African black child, vaseline, glycerin, and hair grease was the holy grail. These products were the answer to almost all your skin-related problems, ashy skin, cracked heels, dry scalp, chapped lips, you name it. I'm not bashing their credibility or anything, because they did their job perfectly well, and they still do. But as I grew up and became a lot more self-aware and self-responsible, I learned of better and more effective ways to go about my skin, hair, and overall body care. From your rich revitalizing deep conditioners through to your body odor/scent layering hacks and tricks, straight down to your must-learn mani-pedi techniques. There's no dispute on how vital inner beauty and introspect are, but when we talk of healthy outward enhancement, it can get a bit fuzzy. We're clearing the air. “If you look good, you feel good, and if you feel good, you play good.” —Deion Sanders RELATIONSHIPS Family, Parenting, Friendships, Dating, Courtship, Marriage, Divorce, and more. We can never get enough chatter on this, everyone seems to have their own guide to the perfect relationship, what goes and what's too far, red flags and green flags. I don't know about you, but I'm super excited to see what this part of the blog has to offer. Come over to this side of the fun, and let's talk relationships, listen to different ideas, observe from varying angles, see through different lenses, and learn new perspectives. I'm hoping interaction on this side is provoked, because I know I'm not the only one with a lot to say. What do you think relationships should look like? "It's a wild thing, that people have the ability to help each other by just relating to one another." — Natasha Lyonne. Closing Remarks. Even if I could fill this entire post with everything this blog has in store, I wouldn't. Doing so would result in there being no room for exploration and outright expression for both you and me. This in turn defeats the purpose of having a blog in the first place. There is so much to dive into, everything above this, and way more. So stick around and you might just call this your new home, there's room for everyone. Come and let's share the 'Esse'nce of Existence. Be sure to keep an eye out for each new blog post upload and the possibility of various bloggers, writers, and contributors making their guest appearances on here too. It's an honor to be surrounded by people that have similar values, I'd be doing them a great injustice if I didn't have them occasionally share their voices here too. Because these are voices that have shaped my perception towards life immensely. I know it takes a village to raise a child but it also takes a village to keep them grounded. Having a community to watch and check you when you need to be watched and checked, is a blessing of the highest order. It would be a privilege to host their insight. A New Blog post will be published at the end of every week. And unless any technicalities or inconveniences are met, consistency will be kept. So the right place to be is at the edge of your seats, waiting in anticipation for the next notification to drop into your inbox because I'm as eager to serve you too. Call to Action! I'm inviting you to be part of the family, go on ahead, subscribe to the newsletter, feel free to join the chat, replies come as soon as possible, and don't forget to hurry back for more. DISCLAIMER: (To every social gathering, affair, platform, or public space, is a code of conduct and decorum. A space to foster public opinions, be as it may, utmost respect and good repute are expected. Any acts that are found to be either, repulsive, offensive, disrespectful, froward, overtly perverse, disorderly, foul, or completely unnecessary, will face repercussions. If such incidents occur via interaction mediums, those comments or statements will be taken down with immediate effect. This applies to all participants, be it the Authors, Audience, Members, Writers, or Bloggers. All forms of Imprudence shall not be condoned.)